If you are a mom who has struggled with your child’s sleep, you’ve most definitely heard about drowsy but awake. In fact, it’s often referred to as a preferred method of helping your baby learn to be a great sleeper. It absolutely is NOT a helpful method to teach your baby to sleep well.
What is drowsy but awake?
It’s when you help your baby get sleepy and then place them in their crib to fall asleep. The most common way is to rock, bounce, or feed them until they get those heavy eyelids and big deep blinks.
The idea is that you get baby just sleepy enough to be able to lay them down in their crib so they will drift off to sleep and then hopefully sleep well at night.
But, it’s a bit of an oxymoron. The first stage of sleep is becoming drowsy. So how can you be drowsy, but awake?
I almost never recommend getting a baby drowsy before putting them into their crib. There is, however, a small window of time in your baby’s little life where that can be helpful.
When to use drowsy but awake
The newborn phase is the only time I suggest using drowsy but awake. The reason is that newborns don’t have the ability to self-soothe so they need a little help. Newborns also have different sleep cycles than older babies (and adults) until their little circadian rhythms start to develop during the 3rd month. Have you heard of the 4-month sleep regression?
A baby is born with an underdeveloped circadian rhythm. They only have 2 stages of sleep - deep sleep and deeper sleep. During the first several months of their lives, helping them fall asleep is exactly what they need. Once their circadian rhythm starts to develop they need to be able to fall asleep without relying on something external initially such as a feed, pacifier, or rocking, to be able to connect sleep cycles throughout the night and get those long chunks of sleep.
I often find that drowsy but awake stops being effective when a baby is 8-10 weeks old. If you’ve had success getting your newborn to sleep by helping them become drowsy and now it’s not working, it’s time to stop.
When not to use it and why
Don’t rely on drowsy but awake once your baby is older than 10 weeks old. It simply doesn’t work. If you want your baby to fall asleep easily at bedtime and sleep through the night (with possibly one night feed), then they need to learn to fall asleep without being held, rocked, bounced, fed, etc. If you are helping your baby with their journey into sleep, then you need to help them connect sleep cycles throughout the night. Allow them to get to sleep on their own and then they will learn to sleep through the night and take great naps, too.
Ditch the drowsy but awake after the newborn phase.
What to do if you’re stuck in drowsy but awake
Drowsy but awake can be an effective way to help a newborn get to sleep. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to know when to stop doing it. I often talk to parents who explain that they rocked or fed or bounced their babe until they were drowsy, placed them in their bassinet and they’d sleep beautifully throughout the night. Now, they do the exact same thing, but baby wakes up the moment they place them in the crib and way more frequently during the night. What gives?
Understanding that your baby’s circadian rhythm is developing and they need to learn how to fall asleep independently in order to be able to link sleep cycles during the night is the first key. Next, take a look at your baby’s bedtime routine. You want to make sure that it’s about 30 minutes and includes the same 5-7 steps each night. Baby should be fully awake and alert the entire time. The point of the bedtime routine is to prepare baby for bed, not to get them drowsy.
Place baby into the crib awake, not drowsy, and allow them to drift into sleep on their own. I know this can be easier said than done. Have a plan in place as to how you are going to respond to your baby and then be consistent and patient. Your baby isn’t going to get it in one night. Allow them time to learn the skill while you offer a bit of reassurance.
If you need a bit more guidance, book a call with me. Helping families teach their babies to be great sleepers is what I do. I look at each case on an individual basis so that we know exactly what your baby needs to learn the skill. When the families are consistent, they start to see results in the first 3 days.