It’s never too late (or too early) to start laying the foundation for healthy sleep or to start teaching your kiddo to be an amazing sleeper. Just imagine enjoying a 30-minute bedtime routine with your child, tucking them into bed, they drift off into a peaceful slumber and you see them 9-11 hours later.
We all need good, unfragmented sleep to be healthy and happy. Why not teach your child the skill (yes, it’s a skill that can be taught) so that they will reap the health benefits of a great night’s sleep? And hey, it’s no small bonus to have a few hours to yourself in the evening once your kids are in bed AND for you to get the necessary 7-9 hours of sleep adults need.
Teaching Preschoolers & Big Kids Sleep Skills
There are several things to consider with this age group as it’s a completely different concept from sleep training a baby. For older kids, it’s a combination of timing, structure, having clear boundaries, and allowing your child to feel confident and comfortable drifting off to sleep on their own.
Bedtime and the Routine
Know how much sleep your kiddo needs. Most kids ages four and up require 9-12 hours of nighttime sleep. If your kiddo is getting up for school or daycare, they are most likely going to need to go to bed between 7-8 p.m. to get the necessary amount of sleep. Also, most kids wake up between 6-7 a.m., so a late bedtime typically means they aren’t going to be well-rested.
Kids thrive on structure and predictability. They find comfort in knowing what comes next so having a bedtime routine helps them anticipate sleep and ease anxiety. You can read all about bedtime routines, but for starters, here is a great 30-minute example:
Example Bedtime Routine
10-minute bath or shower
PJs and brush teeth
Song and/or books (same number of books each night)
5-minute meditation for 5-year-olds and older
Hugs & kisses
In the bed fully awake with 1-2 comfort items (same items each night) Setting Clear Expectations
Kids need to know exactly what you expect them to do and then they need to be reminded again and again. I recommend having a series of questions that you ask your kiddo so that they know exactly what to do at bedtime. Ask questions each night for an entire week and then every few days after that. If your child is confused about what comes next, it isn’t fair to expect them to comply.
Sample Questions
How do we know bathtime is over?
How many books do we read at bedtime?
Once mommy/daddy tuck you in, do you talk or lay quietly?
What do you do if you’re thirsty? Do you call for Mommy or take a sip from your sippy cup?
What do you do if you wake up at night? Do you call for mommy/daddy or hug your blankie/stuffy etc. and go back to sleep?
Role Play for the Win
Role play is a fun way to reinforce your expectations around bedtime and the middle of the night. It’s a great method to incorporate for visual and kinesthetic learners. I suggest spending 5-10 minutes doing role play during the day (not as part of the bedtime routine) a few times during the first week of making changes to your child’s sleep. Not only will your child think it’s fun and hilarious, but they will remember what you’re asking them to do much better than if you simply tell them what to do.
First, you pretend to be your child and have them be the parent. Go through the motions of the bedtime routine and get into bed nicely. Then pretend to fall asleep, but wake up because you need something (another hug, a drink of water, more books…) but then say out loud “Oh yeah, I already had_______, I’ll just hug my blankie and go to sleep”. Then, switch roles and have your child pretend to go to sleep.
Meditation and Using My Favorite Tool
Oftentimes, a bit of anxiety can prevent big kids from falling asleep easily. Teaching your child mindfulness with a short meditation can ease anxiety. I recommend starting with a short 5-minute guided meditation during the bedtime routine, but not the very last step. The idea is to help calm their mind, but still allow them to fall asleep on their own. The problem with a lot of guided meditations for kids is that they are on a device with a screen. Screen time is a no-no before bed as the exposure to blue light makes it difficult to fall asleep. Luckily, there is a brilliant solution out there. Zenimal (discount code andimetzlersleepconsulting) is a screen-free meditation and mindfulness tool that is wonderful for daytime and bedtime meditation for kiddos. My 8-year-old loves it. I suggest checking them out!
That’s a Wrap!
Preschoolers and big kids can 100% learn to be great sleepers who go to bed easily and sleep 9-12 hours at night.
Have an early bedtime and a predictable bedtime routine
Have clear expectations
Incorporate role play
Teach mindfulness through meditation
And if you’re the kind of person who loves to be coached, set up a discovery call with me and we’ll find success together.