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Number 1 Bedtime Routine Mistake

It’s no secret that kids and babies thrive with structure and predictability.  

They find comfort and security in knowing what comes next throughout their day. The same is true for falling asleep and for bedtime routines.

Even adults love their nightly rituals. Maybe it’s washing your face, getting into a cozy pair of pajamas, and sipping a cup of tea. Or possibly it’s turning on the ceiling fan and arranging your pillows in the perfect formation. Whatever it is, we all have a few nightly steps of our bedtime routine that help prepare us to drift into dreamland.

The first step to establishing healthy sleep for your baby is getting a good bedtime routine in place. 

As a pediatric sleep consultant, it’s part of every sleep plan I write for families.  Why? Because a bedtime routine is the foundation of good sleep. And we all know there are HUGE health benefits for parents on getting a good night’s sleep.

Now that you know why a good bedtime routine is important, let’s get to the nitty gritty of what that looks like.

Your Bedtime Routine Checklist

1.Pay Attention To The Clock

Most babies have a bedtime between 6:30 and 7:30 PM.  Knowing how much sleep your baby needs and an appropriate awake window will help you determine the best bedtime.  

The perfect bedtime routine for babies is between 20-30 minutes.  The routine needs to be long enough to get the job done, but not so long that your little one becomes overtired.

2. Keep The Bath Short

Bath time is a great first step to a bedtime routine for babies and it’s a pretty significant start. The key to keeping a 20-30 minute bedtime routine is to keep the bath short. Use a timer to make sure that the bath is between 5-10 minutes. Bonus tip: toddlers love to pick the ringtone to signify bath time is over.

3. There Is Comfort In Knowing What Comes Next, So Keep Your Bedtime Routine Consistent!

The bedtime routine should consist of the same 4-6 steps that always happen in the exact same order. No matter which parent or caregiver is putting your child to bed, the process is the same. This allows your child to find comfort in the routine, which in turn allows parents a bit of freedom. Both parents can easily put baby down or even another caregiver. How about a date night.

4. Keep The Energy Low

There’s nothing like a good rough-housing session, but keep those high-energy activities for earlier in the day.  The 20-30 minute bedtime routine should be calm so that it aids in preparing their little bodies for sleep.

Now, this all seems pretty basic, right? Most parents do these steps when putting their babies to bed at night. But if your baby is struggling to go to bed or having multiple night wakings you might be googling ‘how to get your baby to sleep through the night and you've read a ton about the importance of a bedtime routine. 

Most bedtime routines look something like this: bathtime, diaper & jammies, books or songs, dim the lights and feed the baby to sleep. 

STOP. RIGHT. THERE.  That’s the hang-up.

5. Your baby needs to be completely awake and alert the entire bedtime routine, so move the feed time!  

Think of your baby’s journey into sleep. What is happening when they actually doze off or fall asleep? For most babies, it happens during the feed and then we’ve got an association with feeding and sleeping.

Why is falling asleep during the bedtime routine a problem?

The problem isn’t the feed, it’s the feed leading to sleep. If your baby is sleeping or even close to sleeping during the feed, they are going to wake up after one or two sleep cycles and need that exact same thing to get them back to sleep. Thus, you have multiple night wakings when the only thing that will get your baby back to sleep is a feed.

Feeding baby as part of the last step is the #1 bedtime mistake parents make in their bedtime routine.

I  have hundreds of success stories of teaching babies to be amazing sleepers and the most common mistake I see is having the feed as the last step in the bedtime routine. Move that feed to the beginning of the bedtime routine and keep the lights on (maybe dim, but on). By making the feed the 1st or 2nd step of the routine, you are ensuring that your baby is alert and awake during the process. The point of the feed is to make sure your baby’s belly is full before bed, not to actually get them to sleep. 

By laying your baby down fully awake and alert they will be aware of their surroundings when they drift into sleep. And that is an important step in sleep training when it comes to teaching your baby to sleep through the night. Then, when they wake after one 45 minute sleep cycle, they can drift back into sleep without depending on a feed.

At the end of the day, it’s simple. Getting your baby to sleep through the night is a game-changer. Book a discovery call with me and we’ll discuss how I can help your family sleep through the night too.