If you’ve got a toddler and are thinking of making the switch from a crib to a big kid bed, there are two questions that need to be answered. When and how to make this change.
If your toddler isn’t a fantastic sleeper, stop right now. If he gets out of bed 10 times at bedtime and often makes a bedside appearance multiple times a night or calls it morning at 4:00 AM, now is NOT the time to move your child to a bed. Just wait!
Teach Your Toddler To Be A Great Sleeper Before You Make The Switch To A Bed.
Moving your toddler to a bed too soon is the number one reason parents of toddlers call for help. Teaching him to be an amazing sleeper while he is still in a crib is going to be a whole lot easier than doing so when he’s in a bed. So teach him how to sleep all night long in the comfort and security of his crib. Then, when he is of an appropriate age and has the rock star sleep skills, the transition to a bed is pretty easy.
Moving your toddler to a big kid bed is an exciting milestone, but that excitement is going to fade quickly if he’s out of bed multiple times a night and everyone’s sleep is disrupted. I’ve known plenty of kids that are well into their 3s and still peacefully sleeping in a crib. What’s the rush? And, I’ve never once heard a mom say, “I just wish I’d moved him to a bed sooner”.
So Let’s Say Your Toddler Is 2.5 Years Of Age Or Older And Peacefully Sleeping All Night Long His Crib. How Do You Make The Switch To A Bed?
Include him in the process.
Allow him to make the Ikea or Target trip to pick out a new bed or sheets or pillow. You want him to like his new bed and bedding and having something he picked out on night one can be helpful. This gives him some “buy in” to the upcoming change. If you’re super brave you can allow him to help set up the new bed. Personally, that might send me over the edge.
No Big Production.
You can share with him how proud you are of him but we don't want a lot of, "You're such a big boy now!" Toddlers are a bit leary of this whole "growing up" thing, so keeping it low-key can help ease this transition.
Keep The Consistency.
Once you’ve got the bed set up, put it in the same place as the crib. Keep everything else the same and that goes for the bedtime routine as well. Don’t change up the evening or throw a new step into the bedtime routine or even give new foods at dinner. Keep it consistent and boring.
Get A Toddler Clock.
He needs to understand when it’s morning so that he knows when he can get out of bed. Set the clock early, like 6:00 or 6:30 so that he feels successful. Once you’ve seen progress, you can move it a bit later. Do some role play (you as the toddler) to practice the new rules for the clock.
Setting Clear Expectations.
He needs to understand exactly what is expected of him. Run through a series of questions the first several nights to make sure it’s clear. Ex. Questions: What color is your clock when it’s time to get out of bed? If you wake up in the night and your clock is not green, do you get out of bed or hug your lovey and go back to sleep?
Meet His Needs Before Bedtime.
Making sure his needs are met before bedtime will help eliminate the constant flow of excuses to get out of bed. Once you go upstairs, down the hall or leave the common area of the house, there’s no going back. So make sure he gave all the hugs, pet the dog,had one last snack or sip of water. Spearhead those excuses!
Now That Your Little One Is In His Bed, There Are A Few Scenarios That I See Time And Again.
Scenario #1 - He immediately falls asleep without one hiccup and sleeps until morning! If this is you, celebrate big time because this is not always the case.
Scenario #2 - He seems to catch up pretty well, but after a week or two starts following you out of the room, waking a lot in the night, playing with toys, calling out for you to come back into his room, or has super early wake ups.
Scenario #3 - Your toddler begins doing all of #2 the very first night!
The solution to #2 & #3 is the same. You give your toddler a warning when he doesn't follow the rules around bedtime and be sure you tell them what the consequence will be if they break the rules again. Then, follow through if they do!
You know your toddler the best and I'm certain you've discovered a consequence that gets their attention. I suggest you keep that consequence going since the only thing we want to change is the bed.
That’s the gist of making the transition to a bed. Talk about what's happening, keep things light, set clear expectations and be consistent about rules and consequences.
One last reminder. As much as we're trying to keep this transition smooth and stress-free, don’t forget: You're the boss! Your toddler is a master negotiator and it’s his right of passage to challenge you. He'll most likely leave the room, ask for water, ask for one more hug, ask to go to the bathroom and on and on.
It might make you feel like a bit of a tyrant, but staying consistent and not bending the rules will allow your child to understand the boundaries you are setting and ultimately make good decisions.
If you start changing the rules or allowing him to crawl into bed with you in the middle of the night or stay in the room until he drifts to sleep, this process can go on for months. And not to mention it the rules and expectations become super confusing for him. It will also mean a lot of broken sleep for the entire family, which isn't good for anyone.
Sleep, my friends, is magic.