Can you sleep train a toddler or preschooler? Absolutely! If you’ve got one that has never been a great sleeper or used to sleep great but you’ve now got a middle-of-the-night visiter or are being held hostage in their room all night, there is hope. You can teach your toddler to fall asleep independently and stay asleep for 10-12 hours.
The process is completely different than teaching a baby to connect sleep cycles and sleep 11-12 hours and take great naps. Toddlers are supposed to test boundaries and practice those negotiating skills. Firming up boundaries is 100% part of the process when teaching a toddler to be a great sleeper.
Is Your Toddler Capable Of Staying In Their Bed All Night Long?
First and foremost, make sure you are not asking him to do something he’s not capable of doing. Until a toddler is 2.5, they are not cognitively ready (for the most part, I’ve come across of few 2-year-olds that were ready) to understand the boundaries of staying in a bed all night long. They are just not ready for the newfound freedom. And really, I prefer to wait until a toddler is 3 years old before transitioning from a crib to a bed. It’s SO much easier.
If you have a two and a half your old or older, then YES! He is absolutely capable of sleeping 10-12 hours in HIS bed all night long. I’ll walk you through how to make this a reality below.
What If He’s A Crib Jumper?
The number one reason I have parents of toddlers calling me for help is that they’ve moved their kiddo to a bed too soon (before the age of two and a half years old). Most of the time they tell me he was jumping out of the crib so obviously, it was time for a bed. Wrong!
What Can You Do?
Prevent him from getting his legs high enough to climb by either keeping him in a sleep sack or using pajamas that have a piece of fabric sewn in between the legs. Little Grounders is a great option. For some kiddos, this is all you need and problem solved.
If you have a crib that is higher in the back, flip it around. This way, the tall side is facing out. If you can move the crib into a corner so that your toddler is surrounded by 2 walls and the high/tall side of the crib, it’s a bonus.
Prep Work Before You Begin
As with implementing any new plan, there is going to be some prep work to make sure that you meet your goals and ultimately, the entire family is sleeping well and reaping the benefits of healthy sleep.
Get A Toddler Clock
Your kiddo needs to know when it’s morning what when he’s allowed to get out of bed. I recommend getting a toddler clock. My favorite is the OK To Wake. I suggest keeping all lights on the clock off until the indicated wake-up time and the clock will turn green letting your toddler know it’s time to start the day.
Tips For Success
Set the clock early, like 6 am and when they’ve seen success, you can gradually push the wake-up time later in 15-minute increments.
Practice practice practice until you are sure they understand how the clock and the clock “rules” work.
Take advantage of setting the clock so that the light stays on for 15-20 minutes in case your kiddo sleeps past the set time. That way, he will feel accomplished even if they sleep in a bit.
Setting Clear Expectation For Your Child
Your child needs to know what’s expected of him at bedtime, middle of the night, and in the morning. Going through a series of “dos and don’t” is extremely important so that he can feel successful. Come up with a series of simple questions to ask every night for the first week or so and then every few nights for the following 2 weeks. This age needs lots of repetition.
Example Questions
What color does the clock turn when it’s time to get out of bed?
If you wake up before the clock turns green, do you come to get mommy or do you wait in your bed?
If are awake and it’s not morning, do you snuggle your blanky or yell for mommy?
Where will mommy be sleeping when you are sleeping?
Have A Consequence And Be Consistent
He is going to test you. That’s his job as a toddler. Your job is to be clear and consistent with how your respond. If he gets out of bed give a fair warning using a simple phrase. If it happens again then you MUST follow through.
So what’s your consequence going to be? It’s hard to follow through when you know it’s going to upset your little guy. But a consequence isn’t going to work if it’s not a little unpleasant. The goal is to dissuade the inappropriate behavior.
The most successful consequence I’ve used is simply shutting the door. If he leaves the room or doesn’t follow the simple sleep “rules” you shut the door for 1 minute or so. Repeat upping the time and remaining super calm and boring.
Keep in mind that whatever consequence you use has to be immediate and not something that you’d implement the next day. That won't resonate with this age.
Fill The Cup
Don’t forget how important it is to fill his attention cup when making a change like this, especially if it’s a totally new experience for him. Spending 15 minutes of 1:1 time that is child-led can make a huge difference in the tantrums and meltdowns. I suggest letting him know it’s time for “special time” with mommy and let him choose what you’ll do together.
Realistic Expectations For You
Most likely, you are not going to see a magical change overnight. The entire process can take a week or 2 so be patient, consistent, and boring. There will be a few challenging nights, then you will feel like you’re making progress, then he’ll hit you with another rough night, etc. This is all normal and exactly what he should be doing, testing the waters. Your job is to stay firm and clear so that he’s not confused.
Recap
If your toddler is over 2.5 years old, he can absolutely stay in his bed all night long
Your entire family needs a healthy amount of uninterrupted sleep
Don’t forget about the prep work before you begin
Have realistic expectations for yourself
If this is a journey you’d rather not embark on on your own, I can help you meet your goals within a couple of weeks. Schedule a 15-minute call. We will talk about your kiddo’s sleep struggles and I’ll share how I can help.