The idea of having to be home for your child’s naps and implementing an early bedtime is enough to keep some tired mamas from sleep training. Let me walk you through the nitty-gritty so that you have a better idea of how sleep training works and understand the pros and cons.
What You Need to Know
The very first question to ask yourself is “is my child getting enough quality sleep?” followed by an equally important question, “Am I sleeping 7-9 hours each night?” Learning about the benefits of sleep for kids and babies is a great starting point when evaluating whether or not to make a change.
Honor Your Child’s Sleep Needs
Now that you know about the incredibly important health benefits that happen when a child sleeps, how do you know when they need to sleep and how long they should sleep? You might think that following your baby’s sleepy cues will be all it takes, but it’s often not, and here’s why.
Hunger and sleep cues can be very similar. Often, when a baby is really tired, their sleep cues are mistaken for hunger and they are fed when what they actually need to do is sleep.
Paying attention to their sleep cues in conjunction with the clock will help you determine when to put your baby or child down to sleep. Just because they don’t look tired doesn’t mean they aren’t.
When a child (especially a toddler) becomes overtired, it is masked as hyperactivity. Parents often assume the child is not ready to sleep when in reality they’re “missing the window.” Overtiredness results in serious bedtime battles because a child has a hard time regulating their emotions when they are tired and can’t settle down due to the release of hormones that keep them staying up when their bodies are exhausted.
Awake Window and Nap Cheat Sheet
You Need 5 Things to Successfully Sleep Train
The best time to sleep train is when you are ready. You can start laying a healthy sleep foundation out of the gate with a newborn (but not actually sleep training at that age) or anytime after. I think the 4-6 month age range is a bit of a sweet spot as 99% of them catch on quickly and are sleeping 11-12 hours at night (with possibly one feed) in less than a week. Although it’s harder to teach a toddler or older kiddo to be a fabulous sleeper, it’s 100% possible. It’s never too late.
However you go about giving your kiddo the gift of being a rockstar sleeper, keep these 5 points in mind:
Have a clear plan in place that includes strategies for support, an appropriate amount of daytime sleep that’s happening at the optimal time, and ensuring steps to eliminate sleep props so that your baby can learn to fall asleep without something external and begin to link sleep cycles.
Look at your calendar and pick a couple of weeks when you can make your child’s sleep the priority. No going out of town or disruptions to their schedule so that you can give them the opportunity to learn the skill you are teaching them.
Be patient. Although you should see improvements in under a week, it’s not going to fix itself in a night or two.
Be consistent so that your little one is not confused during the process.
Support is key! Having a partner, friend, family member or professional to support you during this time is invaluable.
I Want My Baby to Be Flexible and Able to Nap Anywhere
It’s a lovely thought. Those words actually came out of my own mouth when I was pregnant with my first baby. But when I learned about sleep, I came to understand that it’s an unrealistic expectation to have on a day-to-day basis. Babies thrive on consistency and routine, it helps them understand what comes next and helps set their internal body clock. Then I learned that sleep training offers a different kind of flexibility that makes life easier in a way I did not expect.
Why Expecting Your Baby to Sleep Wherever and Whenever Isn’t Going to Work
To avoid overtiredness with babies, it’s important to know their age-appropriate wake windows. Once a baby is ready for a 2 nap schedule (between 6-8 months), they sleep best when naps happen at the same time every day because their sleep can consolidate more easily. Babies and kids are going to have the best quality sleep when they’re able to sleep at the appropriate time and place. Science has proven that we all sleep best in a cave-like environment - dark, cool and quiet.
This makes total sense. I can sleep in a car or on an airplane, but it certainly isn’t the same quality of sleep as when I’m in my own bed. Help your kiddo out by putting them to sleep at the best time and in the ideal environment most of the time.
Follow the 80/20 Rule
Aside from knowing that both you and your child are getting amazing sleep each night, following the 80/20 rule is a major benefit of sleep training.
Once you have taught your child to fall asleep independently and to link sleep cycles and they’ve had several weeks of consistent practice, you can add in some flexibility. You need to have a life and be able to go out and about during the day or enjoy a dinner out here and there.
If you’re consistent with your child’s sleep 80% of the time, you can absolutely be flexible with the other 20%. That means you can have some naps on the go and push bedtime back now and then. When children fall asleep confidently and independently, they are typically more comfortable and capable of sleeping in new locations or being put to bed by other caregivers.
Benefits & Results of Sleep Training
Teaching my kids to be independent sleepers was the best decision I made as a mom - both for my kids and for my own well-being. It was so impactful that I changed careers and have since helped hundreds and hundreds of families get amazing sleep.
What Parents Say After Sleep Training
We are so much happier now that we are all sleeping well
My child is happier and thriving now that sleep is a priority
My baby can link sleep cycles and now naps more than 45 minutes
I love the predictability of the day and actually being able to do more things and feel less anxious
Are You Up For a Challenge?
Take a look at your calendar and find 2 weeks where you can be consistent and make your kiddo’s sleep a priority.
Commit to a 30-minute bedtime routine with 5-7 steps that happen in the same order each night. Here are examples: routine for Babies & Newborns and for Big Kids & Toddlers.
Stick to an age-appropriate awake window and use the chart from above.
After you give it 2 weeks, let me know what you think. Now, if your child is having more serious sleep struggles like bedtime battles or multiple night wakings, this may not completely solve your problem, but certainly can. Hop on a quick call with me and we will discuss a plan.
I can’t wait to hear how you and your kiddo do - and remember, don’t let the idea of sleep training and following a schedule hold you back from doing it! The results are worth it.